mental health
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In which I cleaned my room today
I live in the top floor of an apartment building. It gets hot in the Summer. Right now, I have three little fans going and even with that, I am still sweating most of the time. Ages ago, my Mom got me a portable air conditioning unit for my apartment. Every year, we have to… Read more
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Working with anxiety
I had my first real shift at work yesterday. I am working in retail again and this time, it’s at a big store. Previously, I’ve had issues with this. I get panic attacks easily, struggle with mood swings, and usually wind up crying in a bathroom somewhere. Or sometimes I end up talking myself out… Read more
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Keeping my schedule
I’ve been keeping my schedule. I get up, take a shower, brush my hair, blow dry my hair, drink water. Stretch. Eat breakfast and take my meds. Give or take a step. I think clearer when I do this. It doesn’t solve everything, but it keeps me on track. It used to be that I… Read more
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Fixing things instead of crashing
I’ve been taking my meds. Consistently. It’s now part of my routine. Today, I had something happen with my family. Everything is fine, but it’s one of those someone told me something I didn’t know and now it’s messing with me kind of deals. Family secrets being revealed. Again. Before, I would have spiraled. I… Read more
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Being 35 and a jobless student
I am thirty-five. Most days, I don’t have a problem with this. I never wanted to get married because I had a complicated upbringing. And I never wanted kids for the same reason. So, that doesn’t really give me pause that I’m older and alone. What does give me pause sometimes though is job hunting.… Read more
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Streamers vs. Celebrities and activism
Confession: I have never been into livestreaming. This always felt like a form of content that was for younger people. Also, something about the group chat distracted me too much. But recently, I’ve been really obsessing over Ironmouse. She is a VTuber (animated livestreamer) who plays videogames and does live reactions. She’s also friends with… Read more
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So, I’m not crazy
I had my first appointment with a psychologist today. I have both anxiety and depression. But due to weird family stuff in my life, they’ve gotten exacerbated. The trouble is, I’ve taken anti-depressants off and on for years. Nothing seems to be working. Part of it is that my family has a history of addiction… Read more