I had my first real shift at work yesterday. I am working in retail again and this time, it’s at a big store. Previously, I’ve had issues with this. I get panic attacks easily, struggle with mood swings, and usually wind up crying in a bathroom somewhere.
Or sometimes I end up talking myself out of things. Or not showing up to work because I’ve had a panic attack and talked myself out of going.
This is the first job I’ve had where I’ve been on my anti-depressants for a steady time though, so I’m hoping this time will be different.
What’s different about this place is that they seem to work with a lot of people that have disabilities, so I don’t feel so stressed about being there. A job coach I worked with also showed up because she works with others that are there.
My disability is a learning one. I have really high verbal skills, but my number sense is not so great due to my memory index. I can’t remember the formulas required to do higher math.
Regardless, between that and my anxiety and depression, it makes keeping a job hard. Also, my family life is weird, and sometimes bad things happen that make life difficult and set back any progress I’ve made.
But I really want to put my effort into this job this time.
With love,
Diana
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