I had my first appointment with a psychologist today. I have both anxiety and depression. But due to weird family stuff in my life, they’ve gotten exacerbated. The trouble is, I’ve taken anti-depressants off and on for years.
Nothing seems to be working.
Part of it is that my family has a history of addiction when it comes to substance abuse on my Dad’s side. I’ve never done drugs, but it is something I am mindful of, and I think that makes me struggle sometimes when it comes to taking meds.
Although I know that they are supposed to help people, something in my head keeps me from taking them consistently. I’ve often wondered if there weren’t something else wrong with me because of that so I finally made an appointment with a psychologist.
While she thinks I have intense anxiety and depression, she didn’t seem concerned about any other factors contributing to my mental health. That was a relief, because that was something I had often wondered due to my family history.
I think between the anxiety and a lack of confidence, I’ve become too afraid to do anything. But I am going to work on that and taking care of myself better.
I’ve been getting my degree in Screenwriting this year and that has helped immensely. I feel like I do better in an academic setting. Or working towards something.
I haven’t really had that the past few years and that has made me give up on things.
But it is a relief to know I don’t have anything additional on top of my learning disability, because sometimes I’ve never exactly felt “normal”. Mental health is something that can be debilitating when it comes to functioning in everyday life. Including doing things like showing up for work or taking care of yourself. Which was why I wanted to get checked out by a psychologist.
Do I have other issues? Yes. But I can work on those. And I think I will get better at dealing with the things that give me anxiety because I am working towards a life that will make things better.
With love,
Diana Crescent
Leave a Reply