I did something I haven’t done in a long time on a day off. I went shopping. I went to Michaels and I got art supplies. I was actually proud of myself, because I usually let my anxiety get the best of me and I don’t go.
But I wanted paints and I knew that it would be better if I went in person because they’re always cheaper.
The thing of it is, I had a little bit of an anxiety moment before I went in. I did that thing where you start thinking everyone is talking about you and saying bad things. I almost let it make me leave.
But I was able to rationalized it. I also remembered I hadn’t taken my meds yet today, and that was probably part of the problem.
So, I went in and I got my stuff and treated myself to lunch afterwards. It was sunny and nice and I’ve been listening to a lot more indie music recently which I swear has an instant improvement on my mood.
I also woke up to see a Taylor Swift interview on my feed, which was nice. She’s been pretty quiet recently. That does drive me crazy for a number of reasons.
I do wish she’d be more vocal about things, but sometimes I also see the other side of it.
She’s a popstar. Popstars shouldn’t also have to be politicians and she has said her piece about Trump previously.
I also think part of the reason she’s not more vocal about specific things is that if she were, no one would care anyway. They’d still say they didn’t believe her, because they’ve done this with her on other things.
The other thing of it is that she has creepy evangelical preachers that say she’s bringing in the anti-Christ and has had multiple weird men break into her apartments and try to kill her.
She shows who she is in other ways and while I do think she could do more, I get it.
While I’m not a pop star, I’ve found it harder to speak out on things I know are important to me because of my own situation. I am not financially stable enough to be the kind of person that I want to be all of the time, but I try to do what I can.
Like writing this blog.
One day, when all of my family stuff is done, I hope to get to do more. But for now, this is how I say my piece.
And it was nice to have a day off with a Taylor Swift interview to boost my mood because the weird family stuff has been happening again. She’s the other artist that keeps me sane when things are shit.
Anyway, wherever you are, I hope you are taking the time to appreciate the small things. Not everyone gets to enjoy a normal day off right now or get something that brings them joy. Don’t take it for granted.
With love,
Diana
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