I live in a red state which means I am around a lot of conservative people. Because of my depression, and my finances, I haven’t been able to move out. I hope eventually that I will. I would love to live somewhere with a lot more art and culture.
But one of the things I have to deal with is hearing a lot of misinformation. While I am typically good at discerning what’s real from what’s ridiculous, in today’s age of AI, sometimes it is difficult to tell. Even I have been fooled by a few posts until someone exposed things from trusted news sources I follow.
That said, I typically check everything from Snopes.com. If I hear something weird, I look into it. I found out about them when there was a random quote from Kurt Cobain supposedly talking about Donald Trump circulating the internet.
As someone who knows a lot about Kurt Cobain because I’m a pretty big Nirvana fan, I thought the quote sounded wrong and looked into it. That was how I found Snopes.
A lot of people would say, “Why do you still talk to Conservative people?” but realistically, especially in an area like mine, it’s not possible. And being angry or rude all of the time makes doing things like having a job difficult especially when you are a minority in a place where people don’t see anything wrong with their behavior most of the time.
I try to call things out when I can, but sometimes I’m in situations (like at work) where I know I can’t. It depends on who I am talking to and if I know they’ll at least try to listen to me.
But having sources like Snopes keeps me sane and keeps me from panicking the next time I hear something out there from someone I know.
That said, even with something like Snopes, in my thirties I’ve become increasingly isolated. The first time Trump was elected, it felt like some bizarre joke and no one took anything he did seriously. I felt like at least local law makers had people’s best interest.
Now, however, because of the Jeffery Epstein thing, I don’t know that I trust anyone anymore. It’s also getting harder to look past things with people for me.
It’s also incredibly frustrating just trying to be semi-conscious of where I put my time and the spaces I use online because everything is so connected in some weird, warped way.
A lot of days, it’s really hard not to be angry. But my new thing is focusing on things that I can actually control. Like my mental health, trying to keep my job, and graduating from college.
I am also hoping the longer I am on my feet that I will eventually find a place to volunteer. I would also like to do some good somehow. I just don’t know what that is yet.
Also, I’ve decided to try and rebuild my DVD and CD collection since I have a cd player again. I have a pretty good collection from back in the day, but since streaming, the last CD I bought was when I felt the need to get the collectors editions of Taylor Swift’s Folklore CD in a moment of depression spending when it came out.
I feel like at this point, I’d like to own the media I’m invested in, rather than paying $8.99 a month for things that I never know if they’re coming or going. Also, I feel less guilty watching a DVD than I do a streaming service because at least I know the actors probably got paid better.
Anyway, one day I will make it to a place to where I feel comfortable having in depth conversations with people and I feel seen. Until then, I’m just trying to survive without wanting to run anybody over with my car (joke, obviously).
With love,
Diana
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