I don’t live in New York. As someone who was a kid in the 90s though, and always wanted to be a writer, I had an unhealthy fixation with the place. Maybe because every 90s movie about anyone who made it either took place there or in Los Angeles.

The place I currently live is a conservative, Midwest city in Montana. It is no where near the size of New York. But I’ve been here consistently since 2011, and it has grown from a small city to a bigger city but still not December. We finally got our first Indian restaurant in December.

I was kind of proud. We’re seeing it slowly become more diverse than it was when I first moved here when it was all white people. So much so it was a reverse culture shock when I went back to California in 2015 for my Grandma’s funeral.

It also took me far longer than I would like to admit to learn to tell the difference between Native people and Mexican people. But I did eventually figure it out.

The place that I’m in currently has three staples of entertainment: church, football, and the bar. The one movie theater in town if you aren’t old enough for the bar. And skiing if your rich enough. And hunting is as much a past time as it is a way of life.

Not everyone has access to the local Wal-Mart depending on how far out you live. Or can afford to shop there all of the time. Hunting is a necessity as much as it is culture here. Something you can’t understand until you’ve been here for a while. I was one of those people that didn’t get it until I knew more about the place.

There’s a lot about this place that frustrates me. People wearing Trump merchandise openly or putting Trump signs in their yard. The anti-abortion group that protests as soon as spring comes or the amount of homeless people we have standing on sidewalks while our city debates on if we should have a warming shelter because the people there are dangerous.

The amount of Veterans we have with a VA that doesn’t do anything for them.

There’s a lot that makes me happy about the place as it grows. More diversity, like I said. Not a lot, but more than we had initially. I’ve met a few Queer people. The younger kids especially who have grown up where figuring out your identity is getting seen as a normal experience no matter how much law makers would like to make it into something weird.

It’s also the kind of place, where if your car gets stuck, (which happens a lot) people help you out. It’s also the kind of place where the vocational rehab center is helping me fulfill my dream of becoming a screenwriter by getting a bachelor’s degree I couldn’t have gotten in California. It was also the place that helped me figure out I had a learning disability.

And yet, I find myself dreaming of New York because I’ve been watching the Zohran Mamdani campaign which I only looked into because someone on a podcast mentioned she was a director. Mira Nair. And I’ve been getting back into my love of movies again because I’m finally getting my screenwriting degree because of this small city that I live in.

I know we’re not supposed to idolize politicians. They’re public servants and have to be held accountable. But I grew up in an age where even if you disagreed with the President’s policies, there was at least a guise of respect there for people.

That’s been lost in this warped, twisted thing that isn’t even the Republican party anymore. It’s a hate group.

The reason people find themselves watching Mamdani’s every move beyond his impeccable social media game, because he’s a millennial that grew up on the internet, is the respect he shows each individual community. There’s this phrase that he continually uses, something along the lines of, “I want New Yorkers to be able to live a life with dignity,” and if they can aspire for that in New York, we should try and aspire to get that for everyone.

I don’t know what that looks like. I do know it doesn’t look like waking up in the morning and finding out your country is dropping bombs on another. I understand the political circumstances surrounding it are complicated.

I also understand that I’ve seen this film before, and I didn’t like the ending.

And in New York, compared to D.C., I watched videos of Zohran Mamdani taking the subway to work instead of an armored car. I watched him hand out chocolate after he took office. I watched him pay the $9 fine to be mayor(it wasn’t waived…although it is weird you have to pay to be mayor, but maybe he’ll fix that, who knows?). His wife, Rama, wore $600 shoes and everyone freaked out meanwhile there are children that were unable to eat this past winter while Milania Trump made a $40 million dollar documentary about herself.

I don’t live in New York. I shouldn’t be concerned about the politics there. I should be concerned about the politics where I live. But I think I am fascinated with New York politics right now because it’s what I hope America will be soon.

A place where people everywhere can live a life with dignity. Although…as a writer…I can’t help but dream about living in New York still. One day.